Is Your Relationship Falling Apart?

When your relationship started, you knew "happily ever after" was just for fairy tales. Nobody has a perfect marriage - but you figured you would find a way to make it work. 

Then, the arguments started. You started to wonder how you could care about someone so much, and yet feel so frustrated and misunderstood. You're walking the minute your feet touch the floor, trying to avoid starting an argument or triggering a negative spiral with your spouse that you can't snap out of. It scares you, how easily your partner could shut you out. Or maybe you are the one doing the shutting down, just to numb the pain. What happened to all the love and intimacy you once had?

You're looking for better communication. And much more than that, you're hoping to rebuild the connection with one another- and maybe make it better than ever. You want to figure out what happened, to heal from the past, and keep things from getting this bad again in the future. Maybe you've read all the self-help books on relationships, read all the blogs, asked your friends for advice, and nothing worked.

Does it seem possible? To have the kind of relationship where you call your spouse your best friend? To go to bed feeling intimately connected and cherished by the person next to you? To know that whatever life brings, you can trust your spouse to be there?

Don't waste another day being stuck in this terrible, lonely pattern. There can be happiness again - you just need to learn the steps to a new dance. I can help. 

You're Wondering, How Did This Happen? 

It's not your fault. It's also not your spouse's fault. Few of us were taught how to have deep, meaningful relationships with others where we feel loved, understood, and valued despite our shortcomings. Marriage is an intimate dance that requires 

Even if you had a great role model of marriage while you were growing up, having a great marriage is not something that happens on accident. Between careers, children, financial demands, there is a lot that can cause a relationship to drift apart, or be filled with irritation and conflict.

Every relationship has its challenges - chances are, even the people who seem to "have it all together" have had a rough patch or two. The important part is how they were able to repair their connection overall, and come through it feeling closer than ever.

Can Counseling Even Help Repair This Relationship?

After months or years of conflict, it can be easy to question whether things can ever get better. You've already tried the obvious solutions, so how is a total stranger going to be able to help? Maybe you've also heard stories about how counseling seemed to make a relationship worse. This can be a terrifying thought, especially if you've become used to your cycle, hard as it is. 

The good thing is, if you and your spouse are committed to making things better, by reading this far you are already on your way to  having a better marriage. 

Don't give up yet - counseling can help. I have coached couples just like you to repair the distance between them, fight better, and listen so that each partner feels truly understood. Some of these couples have questioned the future of their relationship, and were ultimately able to reconcile and now have a relationship that is better than ever. I love watching this process unfold each time, and celebrating with each couple when they experience moments of connection that are deeper than they've ever felt before.

Imagine having a relationship so full of love that your friends come to you for advice. You can get there - Don't waste another day stuck in that cycle!

How Couples Counseling Works:

1. Request an appointment. We will chat on the phone for about 15 minutes so I can answer any questions you have about counseling, and I will ask you about what you are looking for in couples counseling.  From there, if we decide to move forward, we will schedule our first full appointment together.

2. Weekly sessions. During sessions, we will talk about the interactions you have together, what keeps you stuck in those patterns, and find new ways to interact so that you don't continue to be stuck.  I will help you talk to each other in a way that promotes closeness and intimacy, rather than frustration or fear. You both will be able to share about what's bothering you in a safe, comfortable environment, where neither of you feel blamed for your problems.

3. Start noticing how your life is changing. As you make changes to how you think and interact with others, you will make progress and start to feel better. The more you put into practice between sessions, the faster you will get to your goals.